eight. audio & spam. funnyman, gotta try to be something wonderful.

[indispensible]

James Stark is in a coma.

[She sounds completely unmoved by this. Entirely. (She shouldn't have used his first name. He'd be upset.)]

[She almost hangs up, then:]

Does anyone want to spar?

warden filter

. . . What do you do? When this happens. How do you . . .

[Not go crazy. Not feel guilty.]

What do you do?

open spam } CES

[For anyone who wants to spar, Vin will be in the CES, having Clifford throw large objects into the air for her to fling coins at and shatter out of recognition. The air is full of falling ash, mist curling under her feet, but the trees and the land are green. She doesn't know what to make of it, and therefore doesn't think about it.]

Comments

[ Warden Filter ]

[indispensible]

Thank you.

I am . . . sorry [it seems tugged out of her, as if there's an obstruction in her throat] if I've said something . . . too obvious, or too simple. Or too painful.

[This she means to everyone she's asked, really, but to Dean especially, who seems heavy with pain and weight and guilt and desperation. Dean, who at first seemed like just a man, who now looks like a man with the world on his shoulders.]

[ Warden Filter ]

[surfaceshine]

[He would not, if he knew, enjoy the observation; he does his best to hide everything she can recognize now because she knows what it looks like from the inside, but it seeps out around the edges anyway.

But there's nothing to thank him for, nothing to apologize for: he shakes his head. He knows she's sincere, he just ignores that part of it and addresses only the part that applies to her, not to him.]

It's hard to see it when you're inside of it. But you ain't the only one, here, and anyone says differently is full-a shit.

[ Warden Filter ]

[indispensible]

I see. I understand.

I will . . . try to understand better.

[Because if there's anything Vin is, it's someone who always strives to be more. Greater. A more cohesive whole, a dancer on either side of any line. Empress, urchin, killer, lover, friend, teacher - it's a lot. And she is not so old, really.]

[But then again, neither is he.]

[ Warden Filter ]

[surfaceshine]

If you can.

[It isn't a dismissal. It's an allowance for the struggle inherent in becoming greater than, in learning, in keeping up. It's a kind of forgiveness when one cannot forgive oneself. They both, after all, seem to be inherently familiar with that.

The hunter shrugs, smiles lopsidedly.]

But somehow I don't think that'll be much of a problem.