indispensible | nine. audio & spam. i've walked around broken.

spam } barge, day 1

[Vin wonders if Alpha is gone as a judgment on her. Maybe. She deserves to be judged. She knows this, because she feels as though a part of her heart has been carved out and left on the other side of the door.]

[Nathan is gone. She goes through her days avoiding the people she has harmed, her eyes glued to some imaginary horizon. There are no horizons here. No sun. Hardly any air to speak of.]

[Everything is dying. It reminds her of home. Except for the stars, which she stares at for too long on the deck, until they leave bright spots on her vision.]

public } voice, day 1

[She sounds contemplative, if a little flat. She isn't sure what she wants out of this; then again, she isn't sure what she wants out of anything, right now.

Wouldn't it be easier if we let the ship die?

It would be better. None of you would have to fight anymore. You can't possibly want to anymore.

private } marsh

Is it . . . very bad? Today?

[By it, she means everything. The weight of existence in this place, at this time.]

spam } port, remainder

[It's tempting to trail after people like Ned. But she doesn't. Breathing free air - free-ish, free enough - inspires her in a way she didn't think she could be inspired anymore, and she strikes off on her own into the settlement. Does not think she's pursued; doesn't listen too carefully. There's a large part of her that still doesn't care.]

[But she listens to the people around her talk of invasion, of medicines she doesn't understand, of technology she can't comprehend - and of weapons.]

[On the second day, she trades several hours of menial labor for a weapon, a small, short-bladed knife. Metal - not what she wanted, but the best she can get. And after she puts it in her back pocket, she walks around differently. With a touch of purpose, instantly noticeable, along with the unsteady and distant half-smile flitting across her lips.]

[Maybe she wants revenge, for the people she's hurt and for Nathan, too. Maybe she is simply pleased to finally be moving.]

( ooc; vin is affected for the desperate to deliver plot! )

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

You want oblivion?

I want less than that.

To be erased.

Yes. Yes, that exactly.

Would you erase everyone else as well?

I haven't decided yet.

I sometimes think it would be easier.

Who for?

For me.

It's better not to think about what would be easier for other people.

Other people make it complicated.

Always.

[She's not necessarily expecting an answer to this, but:] What did you do?

[She isn't ashamed. Or, she is; but she's too detached from her own shame to let it stop her from answering.]

I killed people. Hundreds . . . and hundreds of people.

[That's not surprising, not really. Murder is a sin. It's only her crime writ large. The words from Matthew almost come from her unbidden.]

"Thou shalt not kill; and whosoever shall kill shall be in danger of the judgment." [She pauses.] I killed also. Why did you do it?

Edited 2014-06-12 22:43 (UTC)