thirteen. voice. your blood, your bones, your voice, & your ghost.

[indispensible]

[This worked last time. Vin isn't even sure if she liked it, but the temptation is too great to pass up a second time.]

If you're not dead or on the Barge already, I want to hear you. I'm here. I'm not dead.

[For the moment.]

Comments

[indispensible]

Tartarus?

[theverysoulofgoodness]

[That earns a curious look.] The afterlife. [A beat.] For those who deserve the torment, anyway.

[indispensible]

You deserve the torment?

[theverysoulofgoodness]

Yes.

[indispensible]

What did you do?

[theverysoulofgoodness]

There's a lot of blood on my hands. [She could swim for miles in it, she knows.]

I led men into battle, and I didn't much care who got in the way so long as the day ended with glory.

[indispensible]

. . . Did it? End in glory.

[theverysoulofgoodness]

It ended with my men turning on me. Or maybe before that. At some point, glory just stopped mattering.

[indispensible]

I've never fought for glory.

[theverysoulofgoodness]

What do you fight for?

[indispensible]

Survival. And then revenge. And then survival again.

[theverysoulofgoodness]

I've fought for both. They're not times I look back on fondly.

[indispensible]

I didn't have a choice.

Well, towards the end I did. But even then it didn't feel like a choice.

[theverysoulofgoodness]

Why's that?

[indispensible]

Because people were counting on me.

[theverysoulofgoodness]

[She nods, looking out to squint into the distance.]

Not that long ago, my friend and I wound up trapped with a garrison of guards. Their camp was being seiged by an enemy I'd come across before. We didn't know anything about them. All I remember was that they destroyed my armies years ago. I was certain they'd overwhelm us, but if we were going down, I was determined to take them with us.

[She pauses, looking back at Vin only briefly.]

I got ruthless again. I got lost in the fight, in surviving, and having revenge. But it was my friend who saved us. She communicated where we failed, and the majority of us were able to walk away.

[indispensible]

That's what my husband does.

[theverysoulofgoodness]

[There is a correlation here that needs realizing. Instead Xena smiles a little.]

I hope you didn't lose your temper with him like I did with my friend.

[indispensible]

Only a little bit. Usually we just - advise each other.

[theverysoulofgoodness]

Sounds like you've got nothing to worry about.

[Unless you're saving his ass every five minutes, cause she gets that worry. A lot.]

[indispensible]

[Don't worry, it's only every like. Ten minutes. And right now.]

Everyone has something.

You sound tired.

[theverysoulofgoodness]

[That is pretty damn impressive.

Xena smiles wryly.]

It's been a long few days. [Years. She means years.] Are you?

[indispensible]

. . . I think so.

But I'm not done yet.

[theverysoulofgoodness]

How much longer is your road?

[indispensible]

I don't know.