indispensible | fifteen. video. i'm building an empire & now i'm never gonna look back.

[Vin was a silent, solitary, curious presence in Amsterdam for the last few days, walking alone through the busiest streets and emptiest neighborhoods. She found she wasn't afraid of crowds anymore during this time, that any residual discomfort she had about masses of people had evaporated when Stark graduated. People are only people, she thinks; they can do ugly things, terrible things, but they are generally comprehensible, no longer something strange that she feels poorly equipped to decipher.]

[The trouble with Amsterdam, though, was that it wasn't home. She found herself thinking (while navigating public transit, then just giving up and walking) of what Spook told her during the glitch, of what he showed her, of Elendel growing, of how she could tend it like the flowers in Zane's garden. Of how it could become a wonder.]

[She wants to become with it. In the end, it's actually a very easy decision.]

[She broadcasts video, one dog at either side of her, the glass butterfly on her shoulder. They'll be coming with her, of course; almost everything else will stay here. She's calm when she speaks, composed, although still clearly unused to too much speaking to too many people.]

I'm leaving.

The reason I came here to the Barge - made a deal with the Admiral - was for my husband. His name is Elend. He died with me, before, and now he'll be alive with me again. Our world that was was a dark place, a decaying place, and now it's growing.

I'm not afraid of what it's capable of becoming anymore. And he's there. That's why I'm going back. I think . . . it might be a good place for wardens to come sometimes, to breathe. I think you'd be welcome there.

I need - if it's possible, for someone to save a message for me. For Nathan Wuornos. Please.

. . . I have weapons that I want to give away. Knives and daggers, metal and glass - I'm keeping the ceramic ones, Zane - and I'll be around for the afternoon, so if anyone wants them, or wants them but needs a lesson. I'll be here. And then I'll go.

That's all. Thank you.

Goodbye.

private; ben

Ben,

I had to leave. I hope you understand. Sometimes it's time for things to happen, and it was time for this to happen.

I want you to know I'll be gone for a while. But sometime, if you want, you should come to Elendel. I'll be alive again, so I can show you our dances, and you can meet people if you want to, or I can just show you the rooftops if you want that instead.

Goodbye. You're very brave. It was good to know you.

- Vin.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[She doesn't answer over the network. In fact, Morgana isn't even sure she'll say farewell until shes's knocking at Vin's door. She's not sure what to say, but hopefully the pattern will hold, and the words will spill out right.

She's not holding her breath for that miracle, though.]

[Vin did not expect a good-bye from Morgana. She didn't even expect to be acknowledged. That was fine with her, something she had come to terms with. It's not as though they were ever friends, or even close to friends. They were - stand-ins, for all the bad things that had happened to them respectively. That's nothing to say good-bye to.]

[All the same, she smells Morgana outside her door and feels a little relieved. It's nice to cauterize wounds.]

[When she opens the door, she has no idea what she's going to say, either. So she says nothing at all.]

[In the wake of their silence, Morgana unlocks her jaw and stops trying to find the right words. She just tries to fill it.]

It's not fair, how I treated you. You weren't mine to judge, and I did. At every turn.

[Vin doesn't exactly look confused. Just feels it. Her head tips to the other side, her version of a shrug.]

Lots of things aren't fair.

[If this is an apology, she honestly can't comprehend it.]

Yes. That doesn't mean we--

[She stops, jaw locking. It's always been difficult for her to admit when she was wrong. But she was wrong. And there's no sense not admitting that.]

That doesn't mean I shouldn't strive for better.

[For a moment she doesn't say anything. Then she shifts her weight and hops up onto a chest of drawers a few feet from the door, rests her chin on her hand, elbow on her knee, regarding Morgana with sharp eyes.]

I was afraid of you. So I didn't treat you fairly, either.

Afraid--

[She chokes out a laugh, a surprised, not very pleasant smile pulling at her mouth.]

Why were you afraid of me?

[Vin arches her eyebrows, her lips pulling tight at the corners.]

Because you were dangerous.

[It triggers two very separate reactions in her, and she's not sure which is right. She remembers too well what it was to exalt in being dangerous. She wanted to be feared for so long, but now there is a near-nausea that goes with it.

She doesn't want to make people afraid. She does not want to be Uther.]

Am I still?

fifteen. video. i'm building an empire & now i'm never gonna look back.

spam;

spam;

spam;

spam;

spam;

spam;

spam;

spam;

spam;