indispensible | one. spam & voice. spread love like violence.

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one. spam & voice. spread love like violence.

[There's no question in Vin's mind about reading through the file several times. There's also no question of letting Stark see it. He knows what's in it. She is not all that surprised herself, not about the generalities. The specifics hurt more than she thought they would.]

[Hell. And - Alice.]

[She knows his habits well enough by now that she can track him down quickly. He's on the deck. She wrinkles her nose again; he's smoking.]

Stark.

[If he'd wanted to be James, he would have said that from the start.]

public } voice

[While her voice isn't hesitant, it's definitely quiet. She still doesn't quite understand the point of the network, but now that she's been paired it'd probably be more noticeable not to say something.]

I'm Vin. I arrived here a few weeks ago, and I've spoken to - some of you. I'm a warden.

[She considers leaving it at that, but decides against it.]

I'd like to know about other people's worlds. I don't know very much about Earth, but that's not where I'm from. So it would be useful.

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[A pause. She doesn't trust this network. Not at all. And Zane is listening. He listens, she knows.]

I'm in the greenhouse.

[An invitation, but not a particularly invested one.]

[She kept it open so that he might listen, if he wanted to. She doesn't answer at first, wondering what she'd do if Zane had gone to meet Merlin somewhere. It doesn't take much thought. She'd be angry, and afraid.

But if he does find out, she thinks Zane would be more willing to listen than she would be. So she doesn't say anything - but eventually, she heads for the greenhouse, walking through greenery in a slow search.]

[It occurs to Vin to wonder what Zane knows. He's close to Marsh, or reasonably so. Marsh might've told him. But that's not really the point, the point is the prickling feeling of being watched every time she discusses something that might be interest.]

[Except Elend. She doesn't care whether that bothers Zane or not. It doesn't matter anymore.]

[She is sitting between two trees, carefully positioned so that she might take up as little space as possible. She watches the door, and when she sees Morgana approaching just after she sends the invitation, she assumes this must be her, raises her fingers in a small wave. She doesn't stand.]

[It wouldn't be difficult to miss her, sitting as she is, but the movement catches her eye, and Morgana adjusts her direction. Her fingers trail across the leaves of plants as she passes, because she remembers what Ivy told her, when she was a child in this place: this one likes you. She thinks, idly, that she ought to come help with the watering - but as she draws closer to Vin, that thought disappears.]

You're Vin.

I'm Vin.

[Her instincts scream that there is something else going on here, something she can't see. She doesn't know what. But she will.]

You can sit, if you want.

[Or not; she doesn't mind, either way. She assumes on some level that everyone has been sent by an enemy. So she won't stand. She won't allow for any ceremony. She'll wait for Morgana to make the first move, whatever it is.]

[She thinks to keep her feet, at first, but she folds herself down after a hesitation, with enough distance between them that she couldn't reach out and touch Vin.]

You fought in a war. [Go on.]

Against a god.

[Her fingers twine ever so gently in the leaves of the bush whose branches hang just over her shoulders. Otherwise, she doesn't move at all.]

It . . . wanted to destroy the world. To destroy everything.

[She opens her mouth to ask if it was Ruin, but decides at the last that she ought not to let on that she knows that name.]

Why?

[Good call, Morgana. Excellent life choice there. Vin's eyes flick down, then up again. Still ill at ease, still can't say why.]

Because that's what it was. That's what it wanted. What it existed for.

And it just happened to attack during your lifetime.

[At this she goes perfectly still, eyes dark on Morgana's. Nothing moves; she doesn't even breathe. She waits for the accusation to come to fruition. She doesn't know, yet, what she's being accused of.]

[It will come, and then, only then, can she react.]

[It's a frustration, and it's not personal, and that makes it somehow harder. This woman isn't Merlin.

If it was Merlin she thinks she might already have hands wrapped around his throat.

But this is someone else, and she needs to keep some semblance of perspective.]

Why? What made this god lash out?

It didn't lash out.

[She breathes in.]

It had a plan. For over a thousand years, it waited. It didn't lash out - it just revealed itself.

[she's giving answers in pieces, and logically, Morgana can't blame her. But she's not thinking logically.]

Why did it reveal itself? Why then? [She believes too much in fate to accept that it was happenstance, a trick of the time they were born that put them in these positions.]

Because for a thousand years it was too weak, and it didn't have any tools to help it to freedom.

[It stinks of fate to her, and she doesn't care about hiding what she does know anymore.]

It used people like you to gain strength.

. . . Yes.

[She glances at Morgana warily.]

You're angry. [What about, is what she wants to know.]

[She's not like Merlin; she's not like Emrys. They're quiet in different ways, but all Morgana can see are the similarities. So swallows the wary look for just a moment before pushing herself to her feet.]

You killed him.

[Him. In other circumstances, it'd be a hilarious understatement.]

I've killed a lot of men.

[She can imagine the roles swapped, pictures Zane telling Merlin you killed her. Pictures Merlin saying, I've killed a lot of women. Rage bubbles.]

And none of them mattered.

Most of them didn't matter to me. No.

[But surely they mattered to someone. A wife, a mother, a child. Ham would have mattered, if he'd been killed. So many would have missed him. So would Sazed. So did Kelsier.]

If you're talking about Zane [which it's obvious she is, by her impotent and unimpressive anger], he mattered. But he was also trying to kill me. So yes. I killed him.

[And there is no part of her that regrets that choice. It was what needed to be done.]

Edited 2013-09-19 17:13 (UTC)

[There was never enough regret in Merlin for her satisfaction, never enough apology. She thinks he must have stopped feeling sorry for any of it by the end, and it makes her taste bile. It was his fault, all of it, and he was hardly even sorry for running her through.

But he's gone, now, retreated back to his life, and she can't rail at him. She'll never be able to make him understand how much she needed - something from him.]

When we kill it's a crime, [she finally spits out, lifting her chin so she feels a little less like falling apart.] When you kill it's justice. The Admiral does have his standards.

[She shakes her head, and makes herself turn away to head out of the garden.]

[Vin's expression doesn't change. She does make a quiet noise, curious, as she watches Morgana walk away. But she doesn't move to follow.]

[The truth is, she doesn't care. She can't be made to regret what she did. She won't be killed, won't be defeated, might be betrayed but will never let it destroy her. Zane felt that if she couldn't save him, she couldn't be safe. Yet she found safety for herself anyway, despite his efforts toward her destruction.]

[She doesn't think Morgana would allow a man to destroy her like Zane wanted to. She almost asks as much. But in the end, she turns back to the flowers.]

[She has more important things to think about. Still. It's good that he has someone to get angry for his benefit, now.]

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one. spam & voice. spread love like violence.

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